Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
