my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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