I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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