so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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