I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
