is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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