There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize