her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
