I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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