sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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