are you still at the devil's house?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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