Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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