adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Are we still banned from the library?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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