So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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