We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
