I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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