can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
