Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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