Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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