If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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