Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
