Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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