seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
