before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
