dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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