She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
