oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
