If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
bring money and cleavage
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
