butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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