thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize