My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
