...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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