It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
