just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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