mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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