then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
