Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
