Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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