Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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