Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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