i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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