the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize