Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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