She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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