You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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