I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
