So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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