So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
