The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
