I think I am morally bankrupt
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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