Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nicole vs. Life
i think i have two assholes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
