Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have already put on my inside pants.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
