i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
