To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
