i always forget guys have bellybuttons
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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