if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's never too late to be topless.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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