He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
