Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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