i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
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I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
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We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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