Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
