dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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