it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
