JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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