My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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