Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
