I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
